My Third Call “The Rabbit Hole”

SUBJECT: ATTN: Minister Prentice

Dear Mister Prentice,

What do you mean by “As Soon As Possible”.  If reducing emissions is not possible now, when is it going to be?

Thanks,

Hinson

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My Second Call “Homecoming”

By popular demand, I’ve begun recording my phone calls to the prime minister.

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My first call to Prime Minister Stephen Harper

Secretary to The Office of the Prime Minister of Canada: Good Morning, Prime Minister’s Office.

HC: Hello! Can I speak to the Prime Minister?

STOPMC: I’m sorry the Prime Minister is not available at this time [he was in Copenhagen].

HC: Oh… shoot.

STOPMC: …

HC: Can I–err.. who is this?

STOPMC: I’m the Secretary to The Office of the Prime Minister of Canada.

HC: So, you’re in his office?

STOPMC: No, the Prime Minister’s Office refers to a number of individuals and departments.

HC: I see, can you connect me to his office?

STOPMC: This is the Prime Minister’s office.

HC: Umm…

STOPMC: Would you like to leave a message for the Prime Minister?

HC: Yes!  Do you have a pen?

STOPMC: What?

HC: Dear Prime Minister Harper, thank you for–

STOPMC: Would you like me to connect you to his answering machine?

HC: Huh?

*BEEP*

Recorded Francophone Voice: The Prime Minister receives many phone calls every day from Canadians who wish to share their opinions.  Please leave your message after the tone.

HC:  Hello, this message is for Prime Minister Harper.  Hello, this is Hinson Calabrese from Cape Breton.  Hello.  I thought I should give you call about the Copenhagen thing going on.  I don’t really agree with your jive on that one.  I mean, like, the oil sands and so on.  No one answered the phone at Jim Prentice’s office, right?  Anyway, it’d be good if–when you’re speaking to foreign leaders, especially South American ones and ones that are from really poor countries–and well, anybody, if you could let them know that I don’t agree with the you on this one.  Just like–ahhm–you could even say something to the effect of… “We’re going to raise gas taxes and so on, and fleece consumers but not oil drillers in Alberta, and grift poor countries who barely have an economy to begin with–but many Canadians including Hinson Calabrese think that that is very unfair.” Because, we’re all democratic and so on here, but when you say something in Denmark, everyone else thinks that you’re speaking for the rest of us, right?  I’d appreciate that.  People in other countries, like I have buddies in Germany and Mexico and whatnot, kind of think I’m an asshole because of this whole thing. They’d appreciate it I’m sure if you’d explain how I feel.

So… uhhm… I’m not going to vote for you.

Well, I might.  But probably not.

Bye.

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