My first call to Prime Minister Stephen Harper

Secretary to The Office of the Prime Minister of Canada: Good Morning, Prime Minister’s Office.

HC: Hello! Can I speak to the Prime Minister?

STOPMC: I’m sorry the Prime Minister is not available at this time [he was in Copenhagen].

HC: Oh… shoot.

STOPMC: …

HC: Can I–err.. who is this?

STOPMC: I’m the Secretary to The Office of the Prime Minister of Canada.

HC: So, you’re in his office?

STOPMC: No, the Prime Minister’s Office refers to a number of individuals and departments.

HC: I see, can you connect me to his office?

STOPMC: This is the Prime Minister’s office.

HC: Umm…

STOPMC: Would you like to leave a message for the Prime Minister?

HC: Yes!  Do you have a pen?

STOPMC: What?

HC: Dear Prime Minister Harper, thank you for–

STOPMC: Would you like me to connect you to his answering machine?

HC: Huh?

*BEEP*

Recorded Francophone Voice: The Prime Minister receives many phone calls every day from Canadians who wish to share their opinions.  Please leave your message after the tone.

HC:  Hello, this message is for Prime Minister Harper.  Hello, this is Hinson Calabrese from Cape Breton.  Hello.  I thought I should give you call about the Copenhagen thing going on.  I don’t really agree with your jive on that one.  I mean, like, the oil sands and so on.  No one answered the phone at Jim Prentice’s office, right?  Anyway, it’d be good if–when you’re speaking to foreign leaders, especially South American ones and ones that are from really poor countries–and well, anybody, if you could let them know that I don’t agree with the you on this one.  Just like–ahhm–you could even say something to the effect of… “We’re going to raise gas taxes and so on, and fleece consumers but not oil drillers in Alberta, and grift poor countries who barely have an economy to begin with–but many Canadians including Hinson Calabrese think that that is very unfair.” Because, we’re all democratic and so on here, but when you say something in Denmark, everyone else thinks that you’re speaking for the rest of us, right?  I’d appreciate that.  People in other countries, like I have buddies in Germany and Mexico and whatnot, kind of think I’m an asshole because of this whole thing. They’d appreciate it I’m sure if you’d explain how I feel.

So… uhhm… I’m not going to vote for you.

Well, I might.  But probably not.

Bye.

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14 Comments

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14 responses to “My first call to Prime Minister Stephen Harper

  1. This is really great! Keep it up!

  2. Jay McNeil

    Okay – so the blog is awesome, but you need to get these calls recorded. It would be hilarious. Lol

  3. Darryl MacKinnon

    that was priceless!!
    please record further phone correspondence.

  4. Christie

    Do you think it’s one of those giant button answering machines? Record yours for sure because I doubt if anyone actually listens to those messages.

    Chris Lloyd’s project worked on some levels, so keep calling! http://sites.google.com/site/dearpm2/theproject

    • Great project! I would love to read the blue ones. I agree with you and Darryl and Jay–I should be recording these. If not for posterity then to remember what I said when I go to transcribe!

  5. Yes, record. Oh wait – you already are. I’m late to the party.

    This is an awesome project, I’m definitely going to be checking back in.

  6. Neeta

    I love this. All of it.

  7. Jay

    I find this supposed attempt at political humor to be silly and demeaning… to you and this cause – and a waste of my time.
    This web site has slipped at least a few notches in my opinion because of it.
    I likely will now read it less and certainly will read it with a more discrning eye if this ‘piece’ reflects its perspective of the climate change issue.
    While I considered supporting it with a donation, I now will not be doing so unless I see a substantial change over the next short while.

    • Hi Jay,

      Thanks for your comment. I’m guessing the website you’re referring to is Climate Action Network Canada. And, frankly, I think it’s about time people stopped joking about climate change altogether, including the bozos at Climate Action Network.

      Here are some suggestions for changing notions of climate change…

      – Green “frown” placards at your next demonstration. They’re like any other placard, but instead of words, there is a big frown. In my experience, people tend to treat relentless anger and stubborn conviction with open ears and minds. Likewise, I think it’s time that those loose, immoral and generally comical citizens in this traditionally morose, humorless nation begin letting themselves off the highest cliffs they can find like the useless foolhardy lemmings that they are.

      – Begin a boycott of the Rick Mercer Report and This Hour Has 22 Minutes.

      – Lobby for immediate death warrants on the remaining Royal Canadian Air Farce cast members (executions should be as ironic as possible… Timbered trees falling onto their silly heads perhaps).

      Indeed, though you and I agree on 98% of climate change politics and strategies, I think it’s important that we create fundamental differences wherever possible, refuse to work together on a common goal–again, one that we all happen to agree on– and mercilessly admonish our differences in opinion.

      Thanks again, keep listening and tell your friends!

      Hinson

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